Wednesday, November 10, 2010

We Are A Family Of Three

An only child clearly has the advantage of always being Mom and Dad's favorite!

I always imagined that I would have two children....a boy and a girl, of course.  I also knew that I wanted to have my children close together in age.  I am ten years older than my one sister and twenty one years older than my other sister.   I was an only child until the age of ten and wanted a sibling more than anything in the world.  I also knew I didn't want to be like my mom who had my sister at the old age of 42.  Nope, that would never be me!

We were married for three years when Brady was born.  March 19, 2003.   The absolute best day of my life.  It was an easy pregnancy...other than an emergency c-section.   Our life would forever be changed. 

We wanted to wait two years before trying to have another child.  Although I wanted my children close in age...I also knew that my type A personality might not be able to handle it!  When Brady was two,  we were in the middle of Eric changing jobs and trying to sell our house.  It was a stressful time and it just didn't feel like the right time.    Again, I like all lights to be on green and everything in order.  Looking back, I would have done things differently.  I mean, is there ever a perfect time? 

Brady was three when we found out a week before Christmas that we were expecting.   With our first pregnacy....we waited three months before telling anyone (except our parents) that we were having a baby.    Everything was so normal that first time around... we decided to share our good news on Christmas day that we were expecting again...what gift could be better than that?!

I miscarried at ten weeks.  I ended up having a d & e.   It was a very sad time...but  having Brady to take care of made that time a little easier to get through.  My doctor said that most women get pregnant pretty easily after this kind of surgery.  We waited about six months before trying again. (Again, looking back, I would have done things differently and started trying sooner) I was 37yrs old.

  Getting pregnant again has never happened for us.   We've talked about adoption.  It seems like a huge mountain at this stage in our life.  I am 40.  Brady is 7 1/2.    It also feels like we would be doing it mostly at this point to give Brady a sibling.   I think there are plusses and minuses to every situation. We are able to give Brady so much time and attention.   I believe that raising a child to be independent, kind, confident, caring and happy has everything to do with parenting and less to do with family size.  Brady has only ever mentioned not having any brothers or sisters once.  We explained to him that it might not be in God's plan for us.  He has never said that he "wishes" he had a brother or a sister.  I hope that Brady doesn't ever feel like he is "missing" out.   I guess you can't really miss what you don't know.  That is probably true for Eric and I as well.  We can only imagine how our life would be different with a larger family...but certainly not any better than it already is. 

Would I have ever chosen to have just one child?  No.  Have I accepted the way things are?  Most days I have!  I like to focus on what I do have that's positive in my life right here in front of me.  We are truly blessed.  Being a wife to Eric and a mom to Brady are the absolute greatest pleasures of my life. 

Linking up with Jen at Denton Sanatorium.
If you live in a cave and  haven't seen her blog...
go check it out!  She has an awesome blog &
a beautiful family!


Karen said...

Kerri, I've been waiting for your post. I figured you'd link up with Jen's topic. You have written a beautiful story.

And, you have a beautiful family! I don't really know how to put into words how I feel after reading this. I keep typing and deleting my words.

But, I can say this have touched my heart.

Jill said...

What wonderful pictures. You are blessed! My girls are both miracles, truly... i was told I would never have children and through the power of prayer I have 2. After Kathleen my body defintely made that decision of no more. I went through 7 years of trying to conceive Hayley and another 4 for Kathleen, I understand what your going through. I wish all the best to your family.

Sue said...

What a cute boy you have! And I really appreciate your attitude. A great family is a great family, regardless of size.

And who knows what's in the cards up ahead?


Anonymous said...

You have a beautiful family Kerri. I loved reading your story. Thanks for sharing!

Karen said...

Oh, by the way, my boys have that same green vest that Brady's wearing!

jen said...

I want to kiss those newborn lips a thousand times. At least.
I can see this was hard for you to write. Thanks.
I don't know what to say. But I disagree with you. You DO know how to express your emotions beautifully. That was very well written, and one day, Brady will read that and know exactly why your family is the way it is.

Cherie said...

I think children are a true gift from God. We don't always get to pick the amount we have or the circumstances but can only be grateful for the ones we are given.
Brady is a beautiful boy and I know that you and Eric are wonderful parents just from what I read on your blog. You are truly blessed!

Anonymous said...

Your son is absolutely adorable!
Most days I am so thankful to have only one child. It is just me and Emma. But then there are days when I long for another child.
Thank you for sharing your journey!

Jamie said...

He is adorable, and I can tell how much you treasure him. This must have been difficult to express, but I'm thankful you did. All our journeys are so different, and we never really know the whys. I have so much to learn from each of the stories I have read today. You did a beautiful job, and I loved reading it. So glad I stopped by!

Nicolle said...

Kerri, you are a sweet, sweet soul! What you wrote here is so beautiful and so well spoken. I'm glad we've shared our stories with each other. We do have to sit back and realize that God's plan is the BEST plan, even though sometimes we don't know why. You and I know that your family of 3 is just PERFECT!!!

ps. love every one of these photos. The last one touches my heart. The others of Brady so little are just PRECIOUS!

Jen said...

Brady is blessed with a wonderful family! He is loved and treasured...that is so evident in everything you write. How can he be missing anything!

Kimberly {YeP, they are all mine} said...

Thanks for sharing, Kerri!

Mom of the Twinkies and Tot! said...

I feel the same as you at times, that there are things in my life I would have done differently had I known then what I know now...but in the end, everything happens for a reason and like you I try to focus on the positive. I love that your family is "perfect" for you and my family is "perfect" for me!

gabe said...

Wow, Kerri thanks so much for sharing this, it must have been hard to put it down in words.

My younger sister is pregnant with her second and her oldest will be 8 when the baby is born. Her story is so very similar to yours and I have watched her learn to accept what God has given and what he hasn't given.

Have a good day!

Sandra said...

Love the last picture! And i highly doubt he ever feels like he's missing out. I know my kids would trade places in a second to be only children! Imagine all the quality time and the extra stuff they could get. Now they have to wait in line for a hug at bedtime!

Cindy said...

Thank you for sharing your story Kerri.
I never knew all that you went through...and now I'm so glad I do.
I agree with what so many others have have a wonderful family! Perfect in every way because it is filled with so much love. Brady is one lucky little boy.
Enjoy the day sweet friend!

Jenny said...

You have a wonderful family. You are a great mom and wife and from what I can tell, a friend too. It seems as though there was a plan for you and that was to be what you are right now. Brady is so lucky to have you, he is and will be a great boy/man because of you, regardless of whether or not he has a sibling. Your family is filled with love and caring. Miscarriage is so tough, I also had one and I still get emotional thinking about it. I always wonder "what if?" I am glad you felt brave to tell your story. I think your last picture is so beautiful by the way.

I Said So... said...

Thank you for sharing your story. My husband and I always pictured ourselves with a huge family. He was diagnosed with cancer early in our marriage so that dream did not become a reality, but we are thankful for his health and our blessings. You are is best to focus on what we do have rather than what we MIGHT be missing.
Hugs, J

Bridget said...

I half expected to see Brady holding a tennis racket in his birth picture ;)

I totally know what you mean, though. I always wanted two kids, a boy and a girl, and two years apart as well. When Kyle was four, his father and I divorced and I married Michael a year later. We have wanted to adopt a little girl, but it has never happened. I would love to have a baby girl to love on, but as Kyle is 13, and I am 38, I am beginning to accept that our family of three is what God meant for it to be. Now if things happen differently, I'll be totally surprised. Kyle has cousins close in age to him, and two step sisters (my ex's step daughters) so he isn't missing out, either.

Stef said...

Family is family. Whether it is 20 or 7 or 3. It's those bonds that count. He is so lucky to have parents who love him. And what a blessing!

Yvonne @ StoneGable said...

Kerri, What a touching post! YOur precious little one is just adorable! I an so happy to have met you last evening!
Let's keep in contact! Bloggers need to stick together!

sloan said...

Kerri, I'm late as usual on the Jen link-up party, but I really loved reading your story - so raw and real, you wrote it so well ... thanks for sharing it with us - that Brady is one lucky boy to have you guys ... sounds like the perfect family to me!!

Jill said...

Hi Kerri,

Thank you for the sweet comment on my blog. I am so happy to hear that your cousin is o.k.! What a scary thing to experience. I will continue to keep them in my prayers. I have the utmost respect for our soldiers, please tell him me and my family say thank you!
Have a lovely weekend!

Susan said...

Kerri you have a wonderful family and whether you are a family of three or a family of thirteen, you are definitely blessed. Best wishes to you always friend.

Kim said...

Brady is so lucky to have such sweet and loving parents. Your story touched me. I had a hard time getting pg also...both times. Very early m/c with my first. Took almost 2 years to get pg when we started trying for #2. Went to infertility dr, and FINALLY got pg right before having to start any major treatments.

I can't say that I "know how you feel," but I understand parts of your struggle. I just want to give you a big ole hug b/c I know that is not an easy story to share.

That family photo shows a beautiful, perfect, family of three! :)

Dana @ Bungalow'56 said...

My Mom was an only child and was not happy about it. I think girls are more social and probably notice it more. So she made us promise to have three minimum, in case something happened to one the other wouldn't be left alone. That was her though. But I do see that, now that my Nana is 93, she doesn't have anyone to share the burden with. I help but it's not the same as a sibling. So of course because of my upbringing I've been brainwashed to want every only child to have a sibling. It's nice to see that he is happy and so are you. I only have one child home today and boy is it nice : ) Maybe you've got something here.

Denise said...

Today in Sunday school one of the ladies shared about 16 years ago her son was killed in a car accident and this coming Thursday it will be 4 years that I held my little boy for only a short time until he went to be in heaven. Then I checked on your blog and read your story. We might not understand why things happen, but we need to trust in God. You are a great mom and wife. I am so glad to have you apart of my life.

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