Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Assertive Training Needed

Ok, I hope this isn't too personal.  Yesterday I had a doctor's appointment.  You know...the woman kind.  It's been two years since my last pap test...I know, I know...not too smart of me.   I decided to try somewhere different...a medical practice with mostly female physicians.  Anyway, the doctor I saw was very nice.  I was examined.  And, no pap test was done.  What?!  Why not?  Well, the doctor told me that since my last pap test was normal two years ago...I was okay to wait another year before having one done.    She said to me, "is that okay?"  And I said, "sure!"  The problem is, it wasn't okay with me.  I went in to get a pap test and left without getting one.  Plus, it was my first time at this practice...shouldn't I have had a more thorough, more complete exam?  Instead, she took my word that my last exam was normal and two years ago.  I guess I'm most frustrated with myself.  Why can't I ever stand up for myself?  Instead, I just nod and agree.   I will just have to work on being more assertive.  I've always gone for a yearly pap...this was the first time I've ever been told you can go three years between pap tests.  Have you ever heard this before?

On a more postive note....Brady and I enjoyed some time together on Monday.  We went to the park and fed the ducks and had a picnic lunch.  He really wanted to just go play tennis Monday morning....but since there are so many other things to do in life...I told him we had to go to the park first before going to play tennis!  He loves feeding the once he was there, he was fine.  We ended up staying two hours.  (And then,  we headed to the tennis court for two hours.)

We're going away this weekend...same place we went last year!
So, I will catch up with all of you next week!
Have a good one!



Kimberly {YeP, they are all mine} said...

I have been told the same thing. I think three years between exams is normal now.

But don't let that keep you from standing up for yourself!!!! You must be your own advocate! So what if you piss some people off? It's YOUR health and that is THEIR problem :-)


Susan R said...

I'll have to be the voice of contention here and say...GO BACK and demand the pap. I've NEVER heard any healthcare professional suggest that 3 years in between pap tests as being acceptable and this is my field of medicine.
I would suggest having a pap every year, but no more than two.
You are paying them, so they work for you, you're the boss here.

sloan said...

ok, kerri, this is crazy weird timing b/c I have been feeling the exact. same. way. these last couple of years with various doctors (both for me and the kids) - I never ever speak up and you know what happens when you don't ask questions or advocate for yourself? The answer is always no - every. single. time. - I'm at the point where I'm trying to give myself pep talks before situations where I know I need to do a better job of advocating ...

and ps, I was just told last Fall for the first time that you can skip paps (can't remember it was for 2 or 3 years), but in my case they said I could choose and either way was fine (they asked ahead of time - when they're weighing, taking blood pressure, etc). I'm in a high risk group, so I said yes ... but if they hadn't given me the choice, I'd have done exactly what you did and quietly left w/o it, but fuming underneath ... ugh, I know exactly how you feel - you and I need to start speaking up, sista!!

Nicolle said...

People may yell at me, but I just had my last one in January, and it had been 3 years since the one before. I have heard that over and over now....if you have been in the same relationship for many years, and your last one or two were normal, you can wait now. I am not sure if I am comfortable with that, but apparently it is acceptable now. BUT, I am so like you. I am not assertive at all, then I kick myself. If you want one, call back and just tell them, but you may have to call insurance as well because they will have already billed this one as a well woman.

Cute pictures, and ENJOY your time away at the beach this weekend!!! :))

Karen said...

I'm right there with you Kerri. I need some assertiveness training myself. I probably would have done the same thing. I haven't heard it's Ok to have a pap once every 3 years. Maybe once every 2. I think some of these new 'guidelines' are more about insurance companies not wanting to pay for routine checkups than they are about the medical aspect. But, who knows?

gabe said...

I was told last time i got a pap the same thing, but i thought i was every two years?? of course that was when i had lydia so maybe its time to get another???

Can i go to the beach with you??? its been so rainy and dreary here!

CranfordFamily said...

I have been told since I was 15 that a yearly pap is necessary. So many things can change in a year. Like Nicolle said, if you have been in a steady relationship, the STD part is probably okay - but my concern would be any types of cancers popping up, or cysts or things that aren't normal and going 3 years can be far too long to let something like this sit without knowing about it. I would consider seeing a different Dr.

Nicolle said...

I just had to add, do what you are comfortable with. I agree with a couple others here, it might be more about the insurance only wanting to pay every few years. I do think 2 years is ok, I think 3 is stretching it. Anyway, don't stress over it. You're in control, not the doctor! :))

Jenny said...

I agree, somehow speaking up to a doctor is so hard. I have a difficult time too. I do better with my kids than with myself. I don't know why there is such an intimidation factor. Maybe because we feel like they are the experts? But I'll bet you they aren't mommy experts or experts in other fields. In fact, most of the doctors I have known outside of the office are rather dorky. So with that, let's make a pledge to stand up for ourselves no matter how uncomfortable it is!

Very cute pics of Brady. :)

Genn said...

Hi Kerri,
I've always been told by my dr to go every year. I always hate it, but am always relieved when I get those results back saying everything is fine. It could be the norm now for most to go every three years. You could always call and ask them about it.

I linked to your blog today. hope you dont mind. I mentioned those cute carrots you pictured on your blog for easter. :)

J said...

Hey! Well, if my post could be yours, your post could be mine (minus the tennis player)! :)

I am constantly mad at myself for not being assertive especially at the doctor's office...even with my kids when I feel strongly about something. My doctor does my pap every year. I bet it has something to do with your insurance.

Have fun at the beach. Can't wait to see pics!

Cherie said...

Kerri it's the new "thing" with the HMO's and health insurance, etc...It really is better to get one every year but because the insurance companies don't want to pay they are encouraging the doctors to tell you you only need one every three years. I personally think it is wrong of the doctors to agree and very reckless.

I've been seeing the same Dr. for many years and he has been practicing for 30+ years - he doesn't like it. I think it is hard to be assertive when someone who is "supposed to know" tells you it's OK not to have one but your gut was telling you you needed one - I would go back.

(sorry I have strong feelings because cancer is no laughing matter!).

As for the pond with the ducks - Looks fabulous!

Have a fun weekend!

Lorri said...

I think I would want one, too. I am terrible about the dentist and the eye doctor, but I make myself go there every year. Just call them and tell them you would feel better if you had one.

Enjoy your getaway!

Jen said...

Yes! This is true......but my MD practice still recommends a yearly Pap, especially since insurance will cover it.
I am usually the one saying, Oh can't I wait another year. It's probably because I work with many of the docs at the hospital and it's just wierd.
Sorry you feel badly...maybe you would feel better if you call them and schedule another appt.

yaya said...

I have heard it's Ok to wait, but I'm sure it's an insurance thing..similar to the government study that says you don't need mammograms until later in life. That's just crazy. If you want a pap, get one. I work in the med field and I know people get so intimidated by Docs..but remember, you employ them. You hire them, not the other way around. So don't be afraid to say what you want, how you feel, etc. If you ask and they don't do it, they will be liable if anything happens to you. But most important is your health because those cuties who live with you deserve a happy, healthy wife and Mommy!

Jill said...

I've heard two years also but never 3. I would probablly find a new Dr. (but I have trouble with being assertive too, lol). But you should get a test for your health, ythat's odd they didn't do one.
Your pictures are great as always!:-)
Hope you have a wonderful weekend!!

Kat said...

I agree, definitely go back for one since that is what you went there for in the first place. I too could be more assertive in life. I hope you have a fabulous time at the beach with your sweet family!

Bridget said...

Get one. If not from there, somewhere else. You know if it were Brady, you would follow your instincts and advocate for him. Just as much as you want Brady to be healthy, he needs a healthy mommy.

Hoping you have a terrific time at the beach!!!

Cindy said...

I walk out of dr's offices feeling the exact same way sometimes!!
Stinks doesn't it. I have to admit, I am getting better though. I think part of it is not being able to think fast enough...especially when they are rushing you out the door! Oh how I HATE that!!

Seizing My Day said...

it is so hard to be assertive when it comes to that kind of stuff... I would find a doctor that prefers the annual exam... I don't like going every other year myself... and I think 3 is crazy!! especially with all the medical 'stuff' we are facing these days!! I switched doctors twice in the last 6 years... b/c I need to be confident they are taking care of me... I hate it... but I am glad I did... the last one is WONDERFUL!! my doc wasn't treating my high cholesterol ... and ignoring digestive issues... both of which are being treated now... keep looking for doctors who are on top of your care ... not relaxed about it!! =)

Kim said...

I am either a total wuss or an overly assertive biatch. It depends on the situation. I'm trying to figure out what I would have said here. I'm sure I would have questioned her. I've NEVER heard that before. Plus, since I'm already in that blasted position, I'd have probably said to just do it b/c I wouldn't want to have to go through it again.

Seriously, we need to google this b/c I've always heard EVERY year.

Kimberly said...

I never heard 3 years for a pap smear. I always get one every year.

Jess said...

i just went last month and was told that since i have a history of good pap tests it was ok to go 2 years till the next one....which is fine with me;)

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