Sunday, November 27, 2011

What I Learned This Thanksgiving




  I did a bit of complaining this year over our Thanksgiving.  I thought it was going to be my year to host for the first time ever...but, no.  It could have been, but I didn't want to disappoint my in-laws....so we had it at the "clubhouse" in the new community they moved into last spring.  We ate in a big room with old people we didn't know.  Brady and his cousins sat at a different table from us with Grandma and Grandpa.  When it was our turn to go through the line to get dinner, the mash potatoes were gone...the thing Brady was looking forward to the most.   Later, Grandma had a hard time relaxing after dinner because the kids were noisy, so we left.  And, I didn't get one picture.  So, I complained to Eric much of the day about Thanksgiving not being so great.  It didn't feel all warm and cozy...sitting around laughing and talking and making memories.   My mom reminded me that my time will come one day to have Thanksgiving at my house...the way I imagine it to be. My expectations are often so high for these family times...that when things don't go perfectly, I am left feeling so disappointed.   After all of my boo-hooing, I realized that Thanksgiving isn't really about whose house we eat at or what food is being served.    Thanksgiving is about the gratitude we have for our blessings each and every day of the year.  I plan to remember this next year on Thanksgiving no matter what the situation.  I have so much to be thankful for.

14 comments:

Karina said...

Oh I hear you. In th moment I find myself getting frustrated by the little things that go wrong (that wouldn't have gone wrong if we did it MY way). In retrospect they often seem silly, but you can't help how you feel. You did a much better job of seeing the big picture than I do. It usually takes me weeks o settle own. Happy after thanksgiving.

Kris said...

Kerri, that was perfectly stated! We all do that, I think. Have those expectations for the day to go like something out of a Waltons episode!! And then, when it feels more like something out of a Simpsons episode, we are upset. Next year, I say you host it! And you can "bookmark" my turkey post to do it for your first try. But, the lemons I put in the turkey, are not the stuffing. It isn't to eat. It was simply to flavor the bird. I usually do make a stuffing. But this turkey was just for demonstration. He was one tasty bird though!!! Mmmmm!!
: ) Kris

Holly said...

I understand completely... I spent my entire day Saturday cleaning my house for my husband's family and then they all just sat and watched me cook and did not lift a finger to help clean up afterwards. (except the new SIL... confirming that I really like her)
I was so irritated at my husband, because I felt he should say something-- being it *his* family. Now that it is over with, I am just glad we were together... and I am only mad that I wasted some of the time that I could have been laughing with everyone else, crying in my bathroom thinking ugly thoughts!! ;)
Happy Thanksgiving, friend!

sloan said...

aaahh, the holidays ... such bliss, right?! this story actually sounds to me like a screenplay for a funny movie, the way you describe being at the clubhouse with the old folks and the lack of the one food brady really wanted - hope it's funny in hindsight, but I can imagine the stress it brought on in the moment, kerri - i'm so sorry! happy thanksgiving, friend - we really DO have so much to be thankful for ;-)

Stacy Crawford said...

Well stated! We often miss the point when disappointment settles in.

Nicolle said...

The holidays put a lot of stress on us, which can make us emotional and make situations hard to deal with. To be honest, and I will get in trouble for saying this, I hate having so much pressure on just ONE single day. I dislike it so much sometimes I wish the holidays were just for a certain period of time, not one day that we focus on. Does that make sense?! Great post and I totally get everything you said. :)

yaya said...

I would imagine that some of the older folks enjoyed the younger people there. I know what it's like to really want the "perfect" day. I feel that way when my family makes the trek to Ohio to see us. But I've learned that there is no such thing as "perfect"..just the family with warts and all! One day you will be the Grandma and will also do much of the hosting...enjoy this time of your life and chalk this one day up to a memory made...one that you can talk about later and smile!

Cherie said...

You said that so well - it is true that as much as we love the food it isn't about the food. It is about loving our families and being grateful.

I am sure your in-laws were so happy to share your company for the day!

Jill said...

Awww sorry to hear it didn't go as you had wished... but your day will come and the important thing is everyone was together :-) Hope you have a great week!

Blessings,
Jill

Cindy said...

Sorry things did not go the way you planned Kerri! I agree with everyone here...sometimes we can put so much pressure on those days can't we?!?!:) I am glad by the end of the day you were seeing the "thankfuls" in it all.
have a happy day friend

Genn said...

Hi Kerri.
Oh I feel you.
You said that well, and I think we do all do that same thing.
I had expectations to have this great family outing last Sunday and it completely blew up in my face. I guess that is life, but what's important is that we stop and look at the bigger picture sometimes. You did a good job of that.
Hope you get to host next year!
Have a good day today!
xo

Kerri @OhMann! said...

I can totally relate! Don't be too hard on yourself. I know you are a sweet thankful person, and it is okay to acknowledge that Thanksgiving was ICK. :)
My Mother has always told me my expectations are wayyyy too high. And they are. And I am working to get over it, too. :)

Muffy's Marks said...

Treasure the moments, you will laugh at this frustrating day someday soon. Sometimes the worst of times, make the best memories.

Kim said...

Good on you, Kerri! You're right. It isn't about where and what, but about who. BUT...I totally get how you felt. I think everyone feels this way. We build it up so much and have such expectations for how a holiday should be that we set ourselves up for disappointment. I hope next year is your year!!!

 
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